“I knew we were going to lose moments before the match began. I looked at our players mumbling their way through the national anthem and realised they didn't really care about playing for England. Because they don't really know what England is… When I was their age it was crystal clear…
We were separate, different, better… We had saved the world from tyranny so often we'd lost count; we'd brought decency, truth and cricket to every continent… We were defined by our brilliance, our superiority…
Today, things are rather different. Mention the war and you'll be told by an outreach counsellor that we must empathise with the Germans, who are coming to terms with their mistakes of the past…
Empire? When I was at school, teachers spoke with pride about how a little island in the north Atlantic turned a quarter of the world pink, but now all teachers talk about is the slave trade and how we must hang our heads in shame…
I believe people need to feel like they're part of a gang, part of a tribe... And I also believe we need to feel pride in our gang. But all we ever hear now is that we in England have nothing to be proud about. In a world of righteousness we are the child molesters and rapists. Our soldiers were murderers. Our empire builders were thieves…Who would you rather have as Prime Minister, Blair, Brown, Cameron, Clegg, Miliband or Clarkson.
And it gets so much worse. Because if you say you are a patriot, men with beards and sandals will come round to your house in the night and daub BNP slogans on your front door. This is the only country in the world where the national flag is deemed offensive. Small wonder the England players were disinclined to sing the national anthem with any gusto. It's in English and that's offensive too. Unless it's simultaneously translated into Urdu for the deaf...
Every day we read obituaries about men who pressed on with the attack on a German machine-gun nest even though their arms and legs had been blown off... Today disabled people get a statue in Trafalgar Square just because they got pregnant. Tomorrow all the obituaries will be for those who saved others from certain death by insisting they wear high visibility jackets. Cowardice is the new bravery.
As for that wounded soldier seen recently sporting a T-shirt that said: ‘I went to Afghanistan and all I got was this crappy false leg,’ I call that typically English. But not any more. It's appalling. A slight on disabled people. And you shouldn't have been in Afghanistan in the first place, you baby killer...
Do you see? We can't be proud of our past because it's all bad, we can't use British humour because it's offensive and we can't use understatement to deal with a crisis because the army of state-sponsored counsellors say we've got to sob uncontrollably at every small thing.....
I want to end with a question. It's addressed to all the equal opportunity, human rights, diet carbon, back room, bleeding heart liberals who advise the government:..
‘I am English. Why is that a good thing?’ I bet they don't have an answer. And until they can come up with one, chances are we'll never win at football again."
Yeah, me too.
If you want to know why the Brian Cloughs and the Harry Redknapps never get chosen for the England job and the McLarens, Hodgsons, Turners, Capellos and Goran-Erikssons do, go here.
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